[ACTION] BACKDATED TO THE LATTER HALF OF JULY 28TH obviously I win forever

[blessingone]

[The backyard of House 34 is perhaps one of the calmer and more beautiful holographic worlds in the rather chaotic mid-event Luceti. The rivers and cliffs of Fallingwater provide a wide view of the forest and town below as the water tumbles into graceful aqueducts that sweep across the lowest portions. Only a handful of eggbears and peepit chicks might ruin the atmosphere, but they are much too weak to give trouble to even to a first-level adventurer.

And even those who cannot defend themselves may not find themselves in danger. A bird stands on the edge of the river, about half as tall as a human, with a feather nearly as long as his tall neck on its head and a tail about as long as his height. Rather than being aggressive to any visitors, he attacks the holograms when they come near and quickly dispatches them, before returning to the river's edge. He's not a hologram, but the pet of the girl he is watching. So try not to kill him.

Said girl is sitting in the river, knees drawn up to her chest, her head down. She isn't moving or making a sound. She isn't really thinking about much, either. She doesn't really want to.]

[NOTE (Legendia Main Quest spoilers, I suppose): So, the thread hasn't finished due to my standard tagging rate, but it seems that Norma is going to have spilled the beans that Fenimore is going to be fatally wounded about a second or two after she gets back from Luceti. So she's not exactly taking it well. As such, she will be extremely moody and a bit short-tempered. And she might decide to refuse to talk to people for really irrational reasons. I mean, understandably. But this is to warn people that Fenimore may get angry or just clam up entirely for reasons that are not the fault of the taggers. So, yeah. Apologies in advance. I keep having to do this for Fenimore. She'll be at least acting like she's okay in a couple of days (by which I mean she was already doing so several days ago), though.]

Comments

[markofthewise]

[Oh spirits. When she came here, it was just before...

All this time, she never knew. It was just like so many people he had come to know. There was no life after Luceti. Nothing to hope for. No home to go back to. His fists tightened and his jaw clenched. Dammit. This wasn't fair. Hadn't she gone through enough?]

Fenimore, I... [There's really no words, are there? An apology doesn't cover it.]

[blessingone]

You -- ? [She has to bite down on her lip, hard enough that she nearly breaks the skin, to stop herself from snaping "you what?" An instinctive lashing out at anything.

She buries her fingers into her hair, curling them into fists and pulling at it.] How am I supposed to deal with something like that? I could disappear any day and -- [She shakes hear head back and forth violently, eratically.] It's all stupid. I hate this! I hate it!

[markofthewise]

[It's like having a friend on death row. And there no real way to make it better. Her life is Luceti now, but for how long? The Malnosso are trying to send her home and-

Forget it. It's mostly because he's a friend and partly because of how he still sees 'little Fen', but he gets on his knees, soaking his pant legs, so he can pull her into a hug.]

I'm sorry, Fen. [It's all he's got.]

[blessingone]

[She freezes and stiffens at his touch. She doesn't return the gesture, her hands still in her hair and her eyes squeezed shut.]

D-don't -- I can't -- [Her voice catches in her throat and she shivers.] If you do that, I...I won't -- !

[If he tries to comfort her, she won't be able to keep herself under control. She won't be able to keep from crying. She's trying hard to keep from crying, trying to keep from accepting that she really is dead back home. Maybe repressing it wouldn't work forever and would be detrimental in the long run, but she's not really thinking long term.]

[markofthewise]

Fen...

[He pulls back a bit, just enough so he can look her in the eyes.]

I... I can't make it better. I wish I could... but I know that I can't. [Being powerless like this... it just makes him hate this place so much more.] But I'm here for you. Right now. Okay?

[blessingone]

[She uses that space to slip her hand up between them so she can swipe at her eyes to wipe away the tears that are filling them. At the same time, some of the tension disappears and her shoulders drop as she lets go of some of the tsun walls she was building against Sokka helping her.]

...I don't know what to do. Even if you tell me that, I don't -- I don't know what to do. I'm -- [scared. But she doesn't say it.

After a sniffle, she drops her hand, closes her eyes, and continues in a much smaller voice.] I'm sorry. [Sorry to put him in this situation? Sorry for trying to push him away with unfair words earlier? Sorry that he has to see her like this? Even she's not sure what she meant, though it's probably a little of all of them.]

[markofthewise]

Don't be. [He finds one of her hands, so he can squeeze it just a bit.]

I know this is kind of bad. Well... not even kind of. It is bad. But you have a second chance here. I mean... look at Xion, right? She once was able to see her own future, where she lived her more or less happy for ten years. That doesn't sound so bad, right?

[blessingone]

[It's a good thing that he's a lot stronger than her, because she is going to turn her hand so that she can squeeze back hard.]

I don't -- [She doesn't know. There's so much she would miss if she could never go back home, but if she wouldn't die...] But I could -- [She could still disappear at any moment. Even if living out her life here wasn't bad, she couldn't know if she would....

Her mind is slow, overwhelmed as it is, and it is only now that she realizes she knows what he's talking about. She had met the older Xion, and she had said she wasn't used to seeing her so young. She was still there after ten years.

She opens her eyes to try to meet Sokka's own.] ...Do you think that was really her future?

[markofthewise]

[He isn't following the same line of thought, so it catches him by surprise when she says that. He assumes she's talking about her friend Norma, but he decides to clarify just to be sure.]

Whose future?

1/2

[blessingone]

The one Xion saw. [She sounds a little cranky about needing to clarify, even if it's her fault for being unclear -- her patience is kind of low right at the moment.]

[blessingone]

[The crankiness fades as she continues, though.] She said...I was there, too. So, if it's really what's going to happen.... [She has at least ten more years. She doesn't want to say it, though -- ten years isn't bad, but saying it makes her feel like she only has ten years, which wouldn't even get her to thirty.]

[markofthewise]

[Oh. Oh, that future. He's though a lot about that one. She didn't say it, but he knew he was part of it. It had seemed like an awful conclusion at the time.]

Well... maybe it is. I mean, look at the Malnosso. They're people who have been here for lifetimes, right? So... maybe those of us here for a long time really are going to be here for a long time.

[blessingone]

Maybe...huh? [She looks a bit disappointed, lightly biting her lip as her eyes drop.] I guess there are no guarantees, are there?

[markofthewise]

Well... that's life, isn't it? [Only the difference is, death is not something anyone really has to fear in Luceti. You always come back. Or you go home. So he knows it doesn't make it much better.] But I think you'll be here a long time, Fen.

[blessingone]

...stupid that it has to be a good thing. [Her grip on his hand loosens a little.] I never thought that I'd ever want to stay here that long. ...I mean, it's not that it's that bad here, but....

[She tries to smile, but it has no humour to it.] I guess I'm really never getting home now.

[markofthewise]

[He can only imagine if he was in that same situation. He'd... well, he knows what he'd hope for.]

Maybe one day we'll figure out something, Fen. I know it sounds like a long shot... but nothing is impossible. Maybe if we find a way to remember things when we go home, we can find ways to change things too.

[blessingone]

I don't know. [But, maybe it wasn't so bad to hope. Maybe they could, one day. Even if --

Her train of thought is derailed as she realizes she had heard about this idea before. That's what Shirley said, when Fenimore had first arrived. Not the exact same thing, but trying to get people out alive....]

She knew. [As she continues, she sounds...perhaps not angry, but her voice is suddenly firmer and there is a hint of potential anger beneath it.] Shirley knew the whole time, and she never told me.

[...Yeah, her thoughts are pretty scattered, so this conversation may take many such jumps.]

[markofthewise]

[... ouch. She can't blame Fen for being upset at Shirley. Yet at the same time, he can understand so completely. It was the hardest thing in the world breaking the news to Yue.]

... she probably didn't know how. She should have told you, but... I think she just wanted you to be happy. [Just like how he wanted Yue to be happy.]

[blessingone]

[She can acknowledge, if forced, that she was happier not knowing. She can even understand a little how hard it would be to tell her. But still...but still....]

She wanted me to be happy? And what was I supposed to do if someone found a way home? I would have gone without any idea what was coming! I would have walked right into my own -- ! I would have gone.

[markofthewise]

I'm not saying it was right. [He ends up bowing his head a bit. Having done this with Yue already, it's... not easy. But Fenimore's fate is worse than Yue's and he knows it. Yue gave herself up for something bigger than both of them. Fenimore's death is empty, meaningless, something that shouldn't need to happen.]

1/2

[blessingone]

I know that! I know that. It was stupid and...and selfish, and cowardly -- [She tries to fill the words with anger and hatred, all negative emotions wrapped in a veil of fury.

She fails.] -- and I wish that she -- [She wants to use Shirley as a scapegoat for her feelings by turning them to anger rather than despair, but, even now, she knows she doesn't really feel that way about her.] -- and I wish -- [She hurts, and it is so much easier to hurt than to be hurt.] -- I wish -- ! [If she could turn it to anger and blame like she usually does, she could deal with it.]

[blessingone]

[But she can't.]

I wish she was here to help me through it. [She's no longer shouting and she's almost collapsed on herself, her shoulders hunched and her head lowered.]

[markofthewise]

So do I. [Maybe it's just rose tinted memories, but he's sure she'd know what to say right now. She wouldn't be sitting in the river in front of her friend, not knowing how to make things better. He's probably just making things worse.]

I know it's not as good... but I'll try to do what she can't.

[blessingone]

[Her lip trembles slightly before she bites it still. Then she throws herself across the small gap between them to wrap her arms around him and try to bury her face into his shoulder so hard that she bumps her nose, hiccuping as she tries not to cry.]

[markofthewise]

[Without hesitation he pulls her in tightly, resting one hand behind her head as he does. He has no words to make it better. But perhaps just being there will help, no matter how long it takes.]